Marilyn Manson on Fiona from Spin

I met Fiona Apple at the Grammy Awards after-party in February 1997. She was this little singer who no one had heard of. I was a huge fan of her music. And she was so sexy and fragile-definitely too fragile for me. If I was ever to be put in a circumstance where I could have sex with her, I would decline because her vagina is probably too precious to be dirtied by my filthy c*ck. When she walked into the room they were blasting the song we did for David Lynch's Lost Highway, "Apple of Sodom," and the lyric playing was, "I got something you can never eat." For a moment, I had a delusional self-experience, because that song's about obsession and things you can never have and, in a distant way, is kind of inspired by her. She was slouched over and looked very timid, almost like a wounded deer, as if she was about to cry. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she was overwhelmed and show business was too much stress for a girl of her age with her constitution. I asked her to sit down and said I'd bring her some food or a drink, but she was a vegan and, unlike me, was really picky about what she'd put into her body, which definitely means we'll never get along even though I'm attracted to her on many different levels. When I was speaking with her, I was distracted for two seconds by some drunk teenage daughter of a celebrity who was bouncing around singing songs and talking about the various rock stars who had made her pregnant. Another starf*cker and sycophant sucking the life out of me and distracting me from the conversation that I wanted to have. When I turned back around, this weird fellow had kind of slithered his way up to Fiona, and was performing card tricks for her. Really lame. In the book of sh*tty ways to pick up women this was chapter one. But I think it worked.The next day I asked Fiona to come to the premiere of Howard Stern's Private Parts with me. He uses a song of ours in the movie. In some ways I think Howard Stern and I are very similar because he just says what's on his mind and it pisses a lot of people off but it also entertains them. I consider him one of the people responsible for breaking "Sweet Dreams" because he really pushed it. I thought Fiona was going to blow me off because she launched into the kind of drawn-out story about visiting a long-lost relative that I would make up if I wanted to get out of doing something. But she called back later and said she'd go. In true rock star form, I picked her up to go to Private Parts in a white limo. And in true anti-rock star form, she came out makeupless with uncombed hair. This was my first celebrity big-deal event, and I didn't know how to behave at all. There was this red carpet and apparently you were supposed to walk down it and let people take photos of you, but I was kind of confused. I walked down a few steps, thought I was going the wrong way, then came back to the car. Then somebody told me that I was supposed to be walking on the red carpet, so I went halfway down, then got scared because I didn't know if I was supposed to stop or not. Meanwhile, a bunch of media cornered Fiona and she got mixed up doing an interview with Flavor Flav. I couldn't take any more, I was so aggravated. It's not my scene to sit around and schmooze with a bunch of assholes who don't know who you are but pretend like they do. Fiona decided she was gonna leave and I wasn't really even disappointed because I felt bad for how overwhelmed she was.

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